You're probably wondering what people do here for the 4th of July. Let me tell you: nothing.
I wish I could be at home right now, enjoying a family barbecue and getting ready for another Patriotic Performance. I guess I'll just have to settle for some semi-cold milk and digestives.
But let us never forget how much I love America (and its abundance of drinking fountains, public restrooms, ice, easy-to-flush toilets, and flavorful food).
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